Wishing her…

1.6.2009 12.00 a.m

Well, now it is the strike of midnight. One day has past and a new day has arrived. Tapi bagi aku tarikh ni bukan like any other. This is because it is a very special day, for someone that I like so much. Tak tahu nak cakap, but I know that I just blew a very good chance to be more close to her. Kalau top up pun tak mampu nak beli dan handphone pun tiada, kiriman SMS macam sesuatu yang sangat sukar untuk dilakukan.

Nampaknya hanya kiriman wall di Facebook sahaja yang mampu diucapkan. Itupun if she looks up on her FB, something that I doubt she do frequently. Actually, tak pernah aku terasa sebegini rupa towards a girl before, since my last relationship. That one took a long time, almost half of my existence. Only to be crudely ended. Well, I’ve never felt very vulnerable like this before. Ever since the last time I met her, aku selalu sangat teringat dia. I try to get over her, but I just can’t. Tried to berkenalan dengan oher girls, tapi still teringat padanya.

The funny thing is aku sangat sangat tak berani nak call or even SMS dia. Worried that she would misinterpret it. Listening to her talking about her experience with guys membuatkan aku sanga over cautious. Tapi, suka dia bagai nak rak. Try to figure that one out. Aku tahu, aku terasa macam sangat loser dalam situasi ini, mengharapkan sesuatu yang aku tahu aku tak akan dapat. Tapi, entahlah. Seems like hoping is the only thing that I am capable of.

Aku rasa aku deserve menerima fate macam ni. Like girls so much tapi tak berani nak approach. Because aku tahu aku tak sempurna and aku tak akan dapat si dia. Aku pun ada past mistake yang made me believe that this is karma. What goes around comes around, you know? At the end of the day, she will always be somewhere in my heart because she is special in my eyes. She is that one in a million kind of girl that you only met once in your lifetime.

Here’s to you,

Happy Birthday yang ke 21.

Miss Independent.

Ciao.

(Westlife – If I Let You Go)