It was a good ride...

7.59 a.m 7.10.2011

3.1.2011 - 7.10.2011. It was a good ride though dari awal sampai ke akhirnya. And semuanya akan menjadi sesuatu yang akan dikenang sampai bila-bila. I guess that she's not into that commitment part of a relationship and wants to fly high into the sky tanpa ada yang mengepit sayapnya. Lalu aku biarkan sahaja dia terbang because she deserves it more. I'm just another chapter in her life and vice versa. And she deserves to live her life to the fullest until she finally founds who she really is in this world (even though perkara itu membuatkan aku falling even more for her).

Tapi chapter ini akan terpahat in my mind because for once, I felt some genuine love towards someone and I do believe that it was real. However, hujan pula yang datang mencurah-curah di waktu tengahari perjalanan ini. And I know it was my mistake for absolutely believing in all of this all along. The real fool in all of this is me. But I'll take it because I deserve it. It pays to be selfless and loyal. Tapi aku terima semua sebab that's just me and it is impossible to change it. Aku tak akan revert back to be my old ways and will always be selfless and loyal.

To her, Miss Razorblade;

"Thank you for at least giving me a glimpse of what relationship is all about. I am so sorry if I was such an annoyance to you all this while. You have been the best thing that happened to me this year and I will never ever forget that. Your surprises will be kept as those were truly special and gave me some sort of motivation and direction in my life pada masa yang dulu. Also, that thing on my finger akan selalu dipakai sampai saya tutup mata sebab tempat awak takkan berubah dalam hati ini, bersebelahan dengan famili saya. Semoga awak dapat terbang tinggi dan mencapai segalanya yang awak dream selama ini. One more thing, be that wonder woman that you always be. Looking forward to read your final product bila dah siap nanti."

Au revoire, for now. (kalau ada jodoh tak ke mana, kan ?)

p.s: bak kata seseorang, "Next time, just go gung-ho and pinang terus!"

Notakecil:

- Graduation month and I am not really looking forward to it. Maybe just celebrating it with my family only as I do not want to ruin my friend's celebration due to me being not into it. It will be so awkward with her being there. Or I can just skip altogether ? We'll see how it goes.

-Also, diri ini akan cuba mengelak dari family gatherings sebab tak mahu menjawab soalan 5W 1H yang pastinya akan keluar daripada kaum kerabat about that end-of-the-year thing.

- Work has been good, tapi bila motivasi dan matlamat dah tiada, perhaps a change is needed. I'm willing to take that risk. Last resort perhaps kembali ke akar umbi dan menjadi pendidik bangsa when February 2012 comes.

- WWE is trying to rekindle some of its "Attitude Era" magic. Not really working in my eyes but I do look forward to what will happen next.

- Being completely out of touch with the happenings in sports really hurts. Sedang mncuba kembali mengikutinya perlahan-lahan.

- RIP Steve Jobs, pengasas Apple Inc. dan antara visionairies terhebat in this lifetime. Tanpa dia, takkan ada Ipod, Iphone dan sebagainya.

- Masih lagi menjadi seorang yang stingy dan sukar untk mengeluarkan duit. Bekalan untuk masa depan yang memang tidak menentu.

- On the other hand, PSP-3000 is damn tempting to me.

.commitment.trust.respect.patience.

11.24 a.m. 1.10.2011

Satu lagi entri menjengah ke laman blog yang tak seberapa ini. Again, being too busy with work and life at the outside of the house menghindarkan aku daripada meluahkan buah fikiran yang banyak bersarang in my head right now. Namun, I need to start blogging back seriously now. Need to brush up my writing skills. More on that dalam entri yang akan datang (itu satu janji!). This time though, I want to share something that I learnt during this course of my life. Mungkin semua dah tahu yang aku sedang berada di dalam satu relationship yang serius with my other half. It's a long distance one too, considering the fact yang dia akan berada jauh di negeri kelahirannya and I am here, in this metropolis known as Kuala Lumpur. It has been 3 months since we started and I learn several things that are essential in maintaining a relationship with the one girl that I love the most. And through constant obervation of other people's relationships that is happening in my world, it is safe to say bahawa perkara-perkara ini amat essential dalam mengukuhkan perhubungan antara si Adam dan si Hawa.

Commitment.

In a relationship, one has to be committed untuk memastikan yang ianya berpanjangan sehinggalah ke akhirnya. Dah tak pandang ke arah yang lain. In my case, I made a promise that I will stick with her for a very, very long time. Walaupun ada distraction di kiri dan kanan, si dia masih yang pertama in my eyes. Tetapi tak perlu sampai terlebih komited, sebab masih ada lagi benda lain di dalam dunia ini yang harus dicapai. Personal goals, among others juga harus diambil kira. Komitmen bukannya bererti that we are tied up to him or her, it is just a pledge that no matter what, the relationship will still be intact and strong untuk satu jangka masa yang sangat, sangat lama. It is still a long way to go for me, but I know yang komitmen aku adalah pada tahap yang tinggi. Hopefully she does, too.

Trust.

Most of the times, trust is a huge issue in a relationship. Kepercayaan kepada your other half adalah seuatu yang sukar untuk dipupuk, apatah lagi di zaman kini, whereby thanks to social networks and such, one can easily know what his or her other half are doing at that particular time. For me, once you are committed, you need to trust your partner. Percaya yang si dia juga, sama seperti diri kamu, tidak akan membuat sesuatu that could jeopardize a relationship. I had friends that have doubts tentang perhubungan mereka, kerana mereka tidak berapa nak percaya dengan pasangan mereka. That actually means that they are not committed enough, or maybe their partners are'nt trustworthy enough, or other factors that menyebabkan berlakunya ketidakpercayaan itu. Senang cerita, kena ada kepercayaan, as the song by Ungu says, 'Percaya Padaku'.

Respect.

Hormat adalah satu lagi perkara yang sangat penting in a relationship, for me at least. Respect each other's life. Jangan terlalu mengongkong and says what you want him or her to be. Let him or her be what he or she wants to be. Sebab that was the first reason why anda berada in a relationship. Personality attracts. I still very much respect my other half dan support everything that she does. And aku tak akan cuba mengongkong dia because she is that perfect just the way she is right now. Di samping itu, respect juga bermakna yang one has to respect privasi pasangan masing-masing. It is just not about you and your partner dalam kehidupan dia atas dunia ini. Let him or her be and live their lives the way they want to, melainkan kalau ianya sesuatu yang bertentangan dengan undang-undang dunia dan undang-undang agama. Itu adalah treshold untuk tahap respect itu.

Patience.

I think this is the most important thing. One has to be very patient with his or her partner. Kena banyak bersabar sebab it is a continuing learning process in knowing each other. Frankly speaking, banyak juga perkara dan karenah yang dilalui oleh aku sepanjang bersama dengan dia. And I have to bersabar sebab masih dalam proses belajar, memahami dan mengetahui isi hatinya yang sebenar. And it gets deeper as time goes on. Patience juga perlu dalam menghadapi sesuatu situasi bersama, terutama jika seseorang itu dalam long distance relationship. Hati mana yang tak envy dengan pasangan yang selalu dapat bersama. But I know that the time will come whereby I will be with her for a long time. Just need to patient about it.

Kesemua faktor ini sebenarnya interconnected with each other. If one is committed, one will have a lot of trust and respect towards his or her loved one and also have a lot of patience in an ongoing relationship. At least that is what I can sum up. Mungkin teori ini sangat salah, sangat betul ataupun ada salah serta betul. One thing for sure though, I truly hope that this relationship that I have right now, will be as long as what my dad and my late mum had. Sampai arwah mak menutup mata buat kali terakhir. That is my hope.

Au Revoire, for now peeps !