Empty=Kosong

4.9.2009 8.27 p.m

September. How things have gone so fast right now. Pejam celik, dah hampir dua bulan dah journey aku di degree. And I have been so busy, that I have got no time at all to write. First post since August yang kering (satu entri sahaja). Kalau ada masa pun otak buntu nak tulis. Finally, tika dan saat ini, my brain suddenly has something to say.

Kosong. I don't know why but the last two or three days, there has been something that is missing. Aku terasa yang diri ini terasa kosong sangat. Nak buat assignment pun tak senang. Padahal berlambak kerja yang perlu disiapkan. And not forgetting tests that are coming up. Entahlah, jiwa ni macam tak ada apa-apa. Empty.

Maybe sebab dah lama sangat aku tak ada someone that is special to me. Someone that, at the very least, memberi inspirasi dan motivation for me to do what I am doing right now. Last time out, masa diploma ada la juga one or two 'sumber inspirasi' aku (Those who know, paham2 je la). Mungkin sebab tu aku terasa malas nak buat kerja, malas nak pergi kelas, and malas nak ambik tahu pasal hal degree ni. Because there is nothing to look forward too.

Kalau masa diploma, selalu sahaja ada motivation untuk buat kerja and pergi kelas. Because I knew that I do not want to let that special someone down and dissapoint. Now, there is nothing, I mean nothing to inspire me. Kalau aku try nak motivate diri pun, harapan abah, arwah mak dan adik2 menjadi azimat. But for me, that is still not enough.

Wow, I am going to a downward spiral. Better find that source of inspiration fast. If not, aku pasti hanyut masa degree ni. Now, I am clinging on that memories that I had with those who are special to me. But memories do fade with time and I am afraid that I cannot cope with it.

Better stop now before I went into another emotional meltdown.

Ciao. E.I.D.

notakecil:

- Having financial woes right now. Mula rasa menyesal sebab berbelanja tak tentu hala di awal semester.

- Dah aim satu kasut yang sangat smart sebagai sasaran pembelian. And it is not something that you would guess.

- Semakin kerap online, semakin rasa addicted to online. Better kurangkan kalau nak berangan ke luar negara masa praktikal nanti.

- Hasil pengaruh rakan2, now I am addicted to K-Pop groups, especially WG dan SNSD. Sangat menyukai Yoo Bin dan Hyo Yeon.

- Officially, aku dah rasa muak dan tak akan ambil pot tentang dunia politik negara ni. Kalau dah eligible nak vote nanti, baik aku undi calon Bebas atau rosakkan undi.

- Mark my words. Salah satu dari Big Four BPL tidak akan mencapai empat tangga teratas liga musim ni. Man City, Aston Villa, Everton, dan Spurs akan memberi cabaran yang maha sengit this season.